the reason…

i know i talk about how i don’t think it is right to judge one another a lot. i may be in the minority for thinking that way and if any of you care, here’s why:

it started when i was younger. 8 or 9. i saw injustice all around me. i saw family members being treated unfairly. my dad has MS. he is in a wheel chair. his side of the family is a typical southern family that grew up in the bible belt. truth be told, they can be slightly prejudice and judgmental. as my dad’s health began to deteriorate further, he became wheel chair bound. this was a difficult time for him and understandably so. but some of my family members did not like the choices he made out of loneliness and despair at this time in his life. he had a few girlfriends. none of them the family approved of. i was only a child, but i could see he was happy. and the women may not have been perfect, but as family, we need to stick together. i struggled each holiday about spending time with the family as a whole or down at my dad’s— who was all alone. the family had turned their backs on him during his time of need. when he needed love the most. it was painful. i hated it. “how could you judge someone you love like that?” i would think. and no one could see it. no one wanted to see it.

i also did not live the ideal childhood of the rest of my family. my mom’s side of the family did not like my dad. his family turned their backs on him. i grew up with an alcoholic mother. they judged her, they judged him and ultimately they judged me because i was different. i didn’t stand by and put up with their hatred towards either one of them. i may not like what they do, but i love them. i always will.

my dad later married a woman who the family honestly despised. she made bad choices. but she was good to him. and to me. a few years later, she died. i will never forget the look on my dad’s face at her funeral. he was completely devastated. and my family… they had the nerve to talk about her. judge her even though she was dead and my father was in pain. years later he found another woman. she is very kind. but, they still don’t approve. no matter what they always have to find something wrong with him and with his lifestyle. it is heartbreaking.

i also have family members that are gay. and even if my religious beliefs teach me one thing about that, i love them with all my heart anyway. who am i to judge their lifestyles? they are wonderfully beautiful people inside and out. they need love and respect just like anyone else.

my cousin was accidentally killed in january 2007. a gun went off that was held by her very own boyfriend. by accident, he killed her. some of my family members chose to hate this hurting boy. some chose to love him. if there was a time to judge and hate someone, this would be the case. but regardless of what happened, there is always room for love. always.

going back a few decades ago, my family members were killed in the holocaust. i don’t say this to be trite and dramatic, but to point out something that is relevant to history. history that you learned sitting in school. because of hatred and judgement thousands of innocent people were murdered in horrendous ways. my own family members were killed. because they were different. because they were Jewish.

so you see, i have seen injustice. i have seen hatred. i have seen judgement. i know what it leads to. it leads to people being broken in spirit or even worse. wars are started over people judging a group of people and the hatred building up. i have always been passionate about not judging others. i think is terribly wrong.

as a Believer, i believe it is my job to love. love everyone. regardless of their skin color, what they believe, or how they choose to live their lives. who am i to judge? i am merely a sinner like they are. i am no better.

love. always.

If your a Christian and you put down a person’s religious beliefs people aren’t seeing Jesus when they look at you. Always pushing your beliefs onto other people may make you seem super religious, but they are not going to see Jesus through you. Thankfully in our country people can practice their own religion whether or not you agree with it. But as Christians it is not our job to judge their beliefs so ruthlessly. If the desire of your heart is for people to know Jesus like you do, love them. Jesus always loved people first. Once you show that love to people the rest can come naturally.

[and this is not going to sound all profound or whatever , but.... the way I believe in Jesus to my core is the same way other people believe in their religions to the core. I personally don't want someone telling me my beliefs are wrong and pushing their faith on me. They may pray one day I have some awakening deep in my soul that an alien is god or a rabbit even... and I may pray they realize Jesus is their Savior. But at the end of the day people can believe what they want. Even if I don't personally agree...]

ok. i think i got it out of my system now…

“i do” yada yada yada

have you ever thought about how our traditional wedding ceremony came to be? who ever thought to themselves, “i am going to have these girls called bridesmaids. they are going to wear a dress that they will probably only wear this one time for my wedding. then they are going to walk down the isle before me to some music. oh yeah, and hold flowers.” because that makes 100% sense. and guys should wear tuxedos. and have boutonnieres. the whole wedding process is very odd to me. this is coming from a girl who has had a ceremony, been to plenty, and photograph weddings. each bride tries to be creative in her own way, but the ceremony is still weird.

let’s think about this for a minute…. you get engaged. you pick a date for the wedding. you plan and plan and plan for this event that only last a couple hours. the ceremony only lasting 10 minutes (if your lucky). you spend a thousand+ dollars on a dress you will only wear once. ONCE. for a couple hours. get bridesmaids and groomsmen. send out invitations to people who think it’s nice to see you get married but are truly just more concerned about getting to the reception so they can eat all that food you paid a couple thousand for. and the cake of course. you have to have a cake. and you have to slice it for goodness sakes while everyone takes pictures… but really they are just waiting for you to get out of the way so they can eat the cake already! then after having your first dance, tossing some flowers to single girls then it is almost time to leave. everyone lines up ready to blow bubbles at you and you run out to your awaiting vehicle that says some “charming” stuff like “just married”. congrats. you just spent a ridiculous amount of money for something that lasted a few hours. was it worth it?

most couples say they would have rather eloped after it is all said and done.

because here’s the truth about wedding ceremonies: the wedding itself becomes more about the act of getting married rather than the celebration of love. i have only been to one wedding that was less about the wedding and more about the couple. one out of about two dozen.

i had a wedding. sure sure it was nice. whatever. would i do it again? never. maybe i am cynical. i don’t really care. the point is that most weddings are just an event. nothing more. it is so much about the act of getting married. the love has been sucked dry due to all the ridiculousness of planning that “perfect day”. marriage is great. it should be celebrated. my advice to you if you are a bride-to-be or plan to get married one day is not to get caught up in all the details, celebrate! celebrate! celebrate!

Nashville Flood 2010

Towards the end of the school year I begin counting down the the last days of school. I am just as ready for summer break as the children are. We were preparing for the end of the year play, Noah’s Ark, and the picnic. We only had 3 weeks left. Unfortunately, with the flooding in Nashville this past weekend, that came to a very sudden end. My school will not be reopening this school year and it truly breaks my heart. We count down the days and take the final days with the students for granted. And then, without warning, that school year is over.

I teach at a private school in Belle Meade. It is a part of a Episcopal church there. It sits on the corner of Belle Meade Boulevard and Harding with Richland Creek flowing next to it. We have experience minor flooding before… but like many other places here in Nashville, this was completely different. The rain would not cease. And the water rose. It came too fast for the sandbags. It rushed into the school, rising up to the windows, destroying everything in its path. The school suffered tremendous damage as well as the Church. Yesterday we were given permission to go salvage what we could. I expected it to be bad, but it was overwhelming. Every classroom was ruined. Toys and art work were scattered about. It was absolutely heart breaking. The entire school will have to be gutted and rebuilt. We will have to start over from nothing.

So many people experienced so much loss. Loss of possessions, houses, cars and life.

He’s better than LOST any day

If you know me even just a little bit, you know I have a slight obsession with LOST. When I found out they were going to have a LOST live event I became extremely excited. Completely disregarding the fact that I live in Nashville, TN and not anywhere close to Los Angeles. I also didn’t pay any attention to the date or the fact that I have a job… I just knew that I wanted to go. Really really bad. The days leading up to the tickets going on sale I forwarded emails to Nathan in hopes of some miracle occurring. That we would fly out to LA and go to this LOST event. I would see Jorge, Nestor AND Michael Emerson and hear Michael G do his beautiful music live. It would be the most awesome and geeky thing I could ever do. It would be freaking fantastic! However, logically I knew this would never happen. Fly all the way to LA for a LOST event? Yeah right….

Well. Turns out I have the most amazing and thoughtful husband in the entire world. He bought us those tickets that sold out minutes after going on sale. He planned out this amazing trip for us and our obsession over the best show on tv. Something that seemed completely impossible was actually possible!

But… Like I said, I wasn’t even paying attention to the date. May 13th. I am a photographer. And I have a wedding that weekend. And the rehearsal to shoot May 13th. It’s scheduled. Can’t change it. Can’t cancel. Can’t go to LOST. Most disappointing thing ever.

But, how amazing is my sweet husband?! Who else would buy tickets so his obsessed wife can go see LOST at a theatre when she can watch it at home for free?! I may be disappointed, but I am so incredibly blessed. I happen to be the luckiest girl in the entire world! So I will cuddle up with my husband and watch final episodes of LOST and be glad. He’s really amazing

lately…

as spring arrives and summer draws near, my job gets extra crazy. when the weather gets warmer most kids seem to get… crazier. chaos in the classroom is something to expect this time of year. add on top of that an end of the year play and transitioning to a new playground (the BIG kid playground) and you have full blown insanity. though, i do love this time of year because summer break is just around the corner.

i have some added responsibilities at my job now. i am the director of the 4’s play and the hard job of being the door coordinator two days a week in the afternoons. i have to listen for the kids’ names and get them lined up to leave in the right order. it is absolutely crazy. i don’t know half of the kids names… and then sometimes they all rush up at the same time… the teachers are talking… the kids aren’t paying attention… you have the slow pokes who take like 10 minutes to get up to the line…. and then sometimes everything can be right and there’s a last minute name added and it messes everything up. i don’t know how the previous person did it all without writing down the names. i would get lost after the second child was called. i am just thankful that most of the time i get it 90% right.  and understanding co-workers if i mess it up. and i am ever so thankful that i have a job that i enjoy. even with the added stresses this semester

and on the home front we have been working hard to get our basement finished after all the flood damage. the media room is painted and carpeted. we now have to re-tile the bathroom, paint it and maybe replace the vanity. i will be thankful when it is complete and we can have people over again. i miss our entertaining space. since nathan and i got married, i have had 3 vehicles. the toyota was a great car, but we upgraded to the audi. turned out to be a piece of work. we had so many problems with it. it is currently sitting in our garage waiting to be fixed up to be sold. and now i have the x-terra. it has been pretty good, with a few minor issues… well, “minor” turns into big issues in a 10 year old vehicle. we took it in to get the AC fixed and turns out to be a bigger problem… my engine is about to go. so… now it is time to purchase vehicle number 4. haha… what can you do? it’s a hit or miss kinda thing when you buy used cars. hopefully our next purchase will be better. *hopefully*

nathan and i have been doing research on our family history. nathan has found out some really cool stuff on his side. unfortunately, we have not been able to trace back far on my side due to lack of information and my family only being here in the country for just the past century or so. the most interesting thing and heart breaking thing we discovered was that many of my great-great aunts and uncles were killed in the holocaust. we were able to find which camp they were sent to and what area of Germany they lived in. luckily, my great grandfather was able to get out of Germany pretty early. i can’t imagine growing up in that time as a jewish person. it must have been terrifying.

and LOST. the past several episodes have been great. i especially LOVED richard’s episode. so great to finally see a back story on him. and DESMOND is back!!! i am so sad to see the show end soon, but i am so so excited to find out what is going on. it has been an exciting and mysterious journey. i don’t even know what i am going to do with myself once it is over.

so… that’s me lately. a lot of boring stuff

how have YOU been lately?

wonderland

i have been anticipating the alice in wonderland release since i learned it was being made. when the first trailer was released it made the anticipation grow even more. i just knew this was going to be an amazing film.

last night i was lucky enough to get tickets to the sold out show at opry mills. it was my first 3D movie experience. it took a little while to get adjusted to viewing the movie in a different way, but eventually my eyes adjusted and it really brought the movie to life. i think tim burton’s films are magical. the vibrant colors and unique costumes add to the amazing little wonderland that he created. i thought the writing was very clever and enjoyed the new story they created based on the original alice in wonderland. i enjoyed alice’s journey to find confidence and courage in herself, while maintaining a childlike innocence and charm. i think mia did an excellent job portraying a confused girl trying to find her place in a world that is constantly telling her how to be and how to act. and she had the most beautiful dresses! i especially loved the one she wears at the red queen’s castle. it is extremely unique. if there is a knock off of this dress, i would love to have it.

johnny depp gave a brilliant performance of the mad hatter. i love what he brings to all of his characters. all the little mannerisms he puts into make a character what it is really amazes me. he is brilliant.

i think what i liked most about this movie is that it was a combination of my two favorite childhood stories- the wizard of oz and the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. a quest to discover personal greatness from an ordinary character. a world full of magic. i think it could be ranked up there with the wizard of oz as my very favorite movie. i would go see this again (in imax this time!) and will purchase the movie. it was wonderful.

here’s the thing…

earthquakes and tsunamis happen. disasters happen. and even if they happen close to each other does not mean the end times are coming, people. biblical proportions? i call it nature.

and it is devastating. but the end of the world? i think not.

stop being dramatic and DO something. donate. volunteer. pray.

jacob. jacob.

i was looking at LOST shirts and found this. the description says, “this jacob doesn’t sparkle”

ummm… neither does the other one. he’s a werewolf (technically, shape shifter). only vampires sparkle. duh.

[me=dork]

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